So, in case you didn’t already know, I’m engaged, and happily so. I am marrying a wonderful woman who, for whatever reason, loves me in return. Obviously it’s not the perfect relationship, but no relationship is, or ever should be, but this brings me to sort of the center concept of my post here.
You see, lately I have really struggled with having graduated college. I miss the community the most. I do miss papers and projects, but the community surrounding the college is what left a void in my life when I graduated. I miss being able to go next door in my own suite and have company. I couldn’t go five steps on campus during a busy time without hearing “Hey Pat!” At least twice! I miss dialogue in courses I took, or debating frivolous things at dinner. I miss staying up with my floor and just goofing off in the lounge until 3 AM. Most of all, I miss my closest friends and the great support they provided me any time I needed it, and I miss supporting them when they needed it.
You don’t notice how small your social circle really is until you graduate, where it shrinks from 500 to 4.
This ache, this depression, has contributed to a stealthy infiltration in my love life, distorting the real issue, and making me think Christy was the problem, the cause of my loneliness. Now, after a talk with a friend and then a longer talk with Christy, this got cleared up quickly and we’re back on track, but the point is the need for community in one’s life.
We, as human beings, need one another. There are exceptions sometimes, such as some of the ancient desert fathers of Alexandria, but even they didn’t remain alone forever, but returned to teach and bless others with what they had gained in their time alone. Solitude is like milk: healthy and nourishing, but turning sour after too long. The same is true of community, and one must find a balance between the two, but deep down, one must acknowledge the need for at least one other person in their lives to talk to, to interact with. If you don’t, you’re almost missing a piece of you in someone else, in the massive jigsaw puzzlee of humanity. We need each other, and that is beautiful.
I guess that’s all for now. This could be explored much more deeply, but this is good for me. Enjoy!