Hipster Theory and Real World Philosophy: A Non – Nonviolence Post

It’s one in the morning. I have to be up at 5 to go to work. I dreamed this up at 3 AM last night on the way home from work. Why write it? Because I can.

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=126 (bear in mind venturing from this page may or may not lead to profanity and/or hilarity).

According to the above webcomic, Hipster Theory dictates that the lesser known a band is, the better they are. As the female character indicates, this therefore means that the best band ever doesn’t exist. To take it even one step further, any group of dudes and/or girls somewhere in a garage calling themselves a band will never therefore be the best band ever because their existence is known, even if only to them. The best band ever does not exist, and cannot, thanks to the Hipster Theory of Relativity.

This got me thinking, however. St. Anselm once proposed a certain theory about God, that a perfect being, by its very conception in thought, not only does exist, but MUST, because for a perfect being not to exist, it cannot be considered perfect. This is called the Ontological Argument of Existence.

Now, what if we applied said argument to the ontology of the best band ever? If the best band ever can be conceived in the mind, it has to exist, because to not exist, it couldn’t be considered “best” in any way. Therefore, the best band ever does exist. They’re just so good that, as it just so happens, no one has ever heard of them.

However, let’s go even further! Postmodernists have stated that each human being can only have a grasp of knowledge from within the cultural context and settings in which they were raised. Therefore, our concepts of “perfect” and “best” come from our own biases. This theory can now lead to a new conclusion that, not only is each band in existence the “best band ever,” but also that, if you have a band, and you conceive it to be the “best band ever,” then you indeed are the best band ever!

Don’t believe me? Look on youtube! There’s a lot of people out there who think they’re the best band/musician/singer in the world!

OK, I really need to go to bed.


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