Reflections On A Wedding

This weekend, my best man married the woman of his life.  Next to my own wedding day, it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long, long time. Getting to see friends from college again (all of his groomsmen, except for his brother and one other, lived in the same dorm that I did), raucous good times, and host of shenanigans followed upon our arrival at the hotel on Friday.  It also seems to have helped me understand a few things about me.

Some of you might know that this blog was birthed out of another blog, which is still floating around, called Life After College. I started that blog about six months after I graduated from Valley Forge Christian College, when I realized that my life had changed drastically.  No longer was I in the confines of a college, which provides a small illusion of independence, but also fosters a nearly unbreakable community. I moved home to the same place I grew up and took up a job I already had to continue living and to pay for my new expenses (e.g. student loans), and little changed beyond that, besides, you know, getting married.  I fell into a depression, because I moved from the accelerated growth and tight knit community of college to the stagnancy of a day job and the realization that I could not live the life of a young adult portrayed to me in sitcoms and films.  Instead, I had the responsibility as a fiance and eventually as a husband, coupled with bills and work, with the occasional outing with friends. Life just got real very quickly, and up through this weekend, I wrestled with that depression.

Seeing my Damiani brothers again was a bit of an eye opener.  A lot of us haven’t changed too much, but we are all facing the realities of day jobs and the depression of not seeing each other every day and being there for support.  For all of us, the worst part of this weekend was that it had to end, and we were all plenty depressed when the reception was over and we were loading into the car to get home.  The groom was like our captain, in a way.  Before he left for his honeymoon, he said to us “You are all captains now.” It kinda hit me that I’ve been the captain of my life for a year and a half now, and I’ve been looking back a lot.  Even this current blog is sort of a by-product of looking back (a lot of this comes from my senior research paper; write what you know).

There were a lot of things that came to light this weekend, some of which I feel would take too long to discuss here.  All I know is that I got to see the love and brotherhood that I saw for the length of my college career, and I miss having that a lot.  It’s not the same out here in Harrisburg, and whether my alienation from people is something I do or its something I don’t have control over I don’t know. I’m going to be hashing these things out for awhile, and it may lead to some big changes in how things go around here.

I’ll see y’all Wednesday, I guess.


2 thoughts on “Reflections On A Wedding

  1. The last year of my life has been an eye opener similar to yours. I’m not married though, nor do I have anything close to a serious relationship, but as I find that I’m inching closer to 27, that I’m not that guy I had been since I moved out of the small town I grew up in. The friendships that came out and developed over the years have completely changed, people are married, have kids and I’m still trying to live like I’m 20 but have an adult job and an adult schedule. It’s been interesting reflecting back on everything so I feel like I can relate to what you’re talking about.

    I still don’t think I’m ready for marriage and I’m not going to rush into a serious relationship, but I will stop living like I’m some kid who is still barely out of high school and continue to move on. I do have one career path, but will probably combine two, we’ll see how that plays out in the next year.

    A lot of people I know ended up getting married this year so that sparked this chain reaction of thoughts, but I do like where I am at. I regret losing friendships or relationships, but ultimately, I was not ready and there are some pretty exciting things happening in my foreseeable future, but that’s because I’ve been taking life pretty seriously lately and not wandering aimlessly.

  2. Pingback: Four Years Later | Everything is Theology

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