Mad Skills

You know, for as much as I tried…I really just didn’t feel like reading today, and since Thursday seems to be turning into random day,  I’m going to go ahead and brag on myself.

I took a trip down to Chambersburg today, about an hour’s drive from Enola, where I live. I wanted to check out a pipe shop down there that a friend had recommended to me called J. Boswell’s. Turns out it’s a pretty awesome store where they make their own pipes and stuff, and they have some of the best customer service I’ve ever experienced, but that’s not the point of this story.

The point of this story is that I realized I’ve developed quite the skill ever since I started driving, and that is opening drinks with one hand.

It’s true. I’ve mastered a skill that prevents me from taking one hand off the wheel while driving, and thus preventing my swerving into the other lane because that darn Dr. Pepper requires two hands to open every time. I believe this would be an excellent skill to teach high school students while in Driver’s Ed.

How is it done, you ask? Why, I would love to tell you! It is a simple matter of developing finger dexterity in your dominant hand.

1. Grip your container near the cap, but don’t use your thumb or . This is best accomplished by utilizing your palm to grip the can with your other three fingers, but don’t do it too hard, or you’ll have drink all over your car.

2. Utilizing your forefinger and thumb, gently twist the cap off your beverage of choice. Again, this requires great finger strength, as the rest of your hand is busy holding the bottle.

3. Once removed, palm the cap between your hand and the bottle, resume a normal grip, and enjoy your beverage.

I can see that some of you may have some questions or objections about this method. Let me try to answer those for you.

Question #1: Have you gotten this method to work for other containers? What about cans? Cans are even easier than bottles for opening because you can use your thumb for grip.  Just work your forefinger under the tab and push it all the way open in one shot. As for other containers, such as juice boxes, I don’t have a patented method for those yet.  Inserting a straw with just a thumb and forefinger seems a bit of a daunting task, though if you have accomplished this feat, please share?

Question #2: Why not just open the drink before you start driving and leave the cap off?  There’s three good reasons for not doing this.

  1. Greater potential for spill in the event you have to take evasive action.
  2. Makes your drink flat/warm if you leave the cap off.
  3. Oversized containers (like the half gallon of tea I bought to drive down to Chambersburg) don’t fit in conventional cupholders, and therefore NEED to have the cap replaced when finished.

Question #3: Where else is this applicable? Also a good question!  I find this to be useful in a number of situations:

  1. Parties. I’m not always standing near a table to sit my drink down so I can open it.  Also, it makes for a great conversation piece if you’re the host and you can do this with BOTH HANDS for people who need drinks.
  2. While on the phone or working on a computer.  You can keep your free hand on the device while opening the drink!
  3. Fencing.  Go ahead, use your imagination.

So for those who thought this was going to be a post on Bunyan or Piper, sorry that I didn’t get to reading today.  Driving for long periods of time tends to make me tired (especially when I stop off in Carlisle for a plate of hotchee dogs at the Hamilton Restaurant), so no reading got done. We’ll be back on track soon! I do have night shift this weekend, which might mess up my reading, but we’ll see.  Later, all!


3 thoughts on “Mad Skills

  1. In hindsight, I really wish I would have tried to crack open a cola whilst fencing. I feel that would have completely thrown my opponent off (even more than I already did because I was fencing with the wrong hand).

  2. I don’t have that much finger strength so I put the bottle between my legs so I can use all my fingers. Well, okay, maybe not the pinkie. I agree you have to keep the lid on between drinks. As far as the juice container goes, I would just set it in the drink holder and aim well.

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