Look, droogs, I started blogging four years ago with the secret (even to me) hope that this would become a job. Sometimes I wonder if that’s not still possible, but definitely not in the way that I’ve been blogging as of late. And you know what? That’s fine with me.
Obviously, I’m still reading like a fiend; I just haven’t taken much time to sit down and be all like, “Hey, here’s how this applies to theology.” I don’t think I was doing that very much before; I was just writing book reviews, and as much as I love to share my opinions with people and sound like I might be smart, that gets pretty boring after too long and makes me feel like I’m just spinning my wheels.
I stepped away from this because, frankly, it was stressing me out. In addition to writing quasi-intellectual book reviews (which may be too generous), I was trying to set up reading plans, not meeting them, then feeling like a crappy person because I didn’t meet my goals. This is a vicious cycle in most parts of my life, and blogging is no exception. What I’m trying to do in response is not be so hard on myself, to be OK with a little failure in my life and be a better person overall. I’d like the scorecard to have more wins than losses on it, but a perfect record just doesn’t matter as much as I might think it does in the grand scheme of things.
I might keep blogging, I might not. I’m trying it back on for size right now, seeing if it still fits me. I will say that Monday’s post (the Atwood piece) felt pretty good, felt more like what I had in mind for this Everything is Theology theme than just a bunch of book reviews. I will still be posting those every now and then if I keep this going in an effort to meet contractual obligations with places like the Speakeasy and Blogging for Books, but I’d really rather things look something like they did on Monday.
Other than all this, my life’s okay. And I’m okay with okay (at least right now).